Psychiatriat

Since July, I tink I had changes a lot..got a weird attitude...
Laz time wen I study in sunway, I hate to take my dinner alone..i would rather starve than eating alone..
But now, certain of days I don like 2 mix v ppl...I would rather eat alone..coz of lazy to talk 2 any1..even wen I m out v my frenz, I would sit down der quietly...wont talk muj..wad da hell had happened to me?
Become autistic? Should I go 2 a psychiatrist?

When going to work, can talk one whole day, but suddenly can bcome damn quiet without talking 2 any1...seems like some pressures which is indescribable.. da moment I din talk, I would sit down while doing my works, my mind will keep think lots of thing...
Dunno y keep think damn muj..every morning woke up, I will start 2 think until I reach office..even I bathed or drive..

Sumtimes think dat y m I so silly? Did smth which ppl not appreciate at all?
Y m I going 2 waste so muj time?
Humans like to take things for granted. Perhaps become a selfish person is da only way to survive in dis world..o else in da end, will alwiz be da loser.

Wreckage

Nothing is fair in dis world...

The more u sacrifice, the more u r hurt & when u feel u give ur best it all seems not enough until such time u have no choice but to give up....

Tried hard 2 maintained it but seems like worthless..

There is still a wall between us..

Now i finally believe dis phrase..

To build a frenship, it takes years...but to destroy it, juz take a few seconds..

No matter how hard 2 salvage it, still no use..der is still a wreckage at der...cant be remove permanently!!!

Disappointed

You are one of the person who i care and cherish the most.

I just wanna know u better. Rack up my brain in order to pleased you.

But in the end, i get scolded for nothing.

Really totally upset + angry + disappointed!!

IF i really had disturbed you, or you think that i am DAMN irritating, you can speak frankly with me instead of raising your voices at me!!

I know I am just an insignificant person in your life.

I had think one whole night..had figured out where i stand.

I said a lot of things to you. You might think that i am bullshitting with you.

But i can swear to heaven and earth, all da things i said or sms, is true.

Sincerely from bottom of my heart. Not a prank or just want to make you happy.

Whether to trust or not, decision lies on your hands. It's depends on how you think and look at me!!

Perhaps..right from the begining, i should not across the border line.

Should maintained the relationship which on the very first day i know you instead of getting closer!!

But now, everything too late!!

I am the one who caused all these things.

Friday night, one whole night totally can't slp even a wink.

All the things you scolded me, keep flashing in my mind.

I don't know monday how am i going to react nor start a conversation with you!!

Sincerely

busy for so many weeks..now got some spare time to write blog...

laz wed really happened lot of things...after guitar class; went dinner v my colleagues...learn a lot of things fr dem which i nvr expected..indeed is a rare experience...

dat nite cant slp for one whole nite...keep thinking wad dey said n wad u said 2 me...totally is different story...i was damn angry...kept tossing on da bed but still cant figure out da answer..in da end 4 smth i sms u...n waited for ur reply yet u didn reply till da next morning....wen i received da ans i dunno how m i goin 2 react...i sat down der n think 4 a long time n reply u...

i m not goin 2 blame u entirely...but wad i want fr u is juz a vy simple thing...ingenuous n sincere..dat's all...m i asking 2 muj???

i noe u do not haf da obligation 2 tell me all ur things...but at least wad i really want is sincerely..if der is anything u gonna hide, den i tink our conversation is meaningless!!!

by da way, since dat day i ady apologise 2 u, i tink i wont doubt ur words anymore...i oso don want to waste my time 2 rack my brain think dis n dat as i oso got my own problem 2 think...

friday nite, i sms u; i said i wanna be ur frenz..i mean it wad i said...

i juz hope dat nx time u got any prob, can u don shrik out ur responsibities by asking me to follow dem???? since i ady choose da road den i wont REGRET!!!!

unless u make smth which make me damn dissapointed on u!!!

Jack ass

wad da hack..damn it...u r totally bias...y juz informed him n didn tell me at all...wtf!!!!

u really is f**ker jack ass...wasted my time...i not goin 2 write ur name on my blog as it will make my blog dirty....i tink u ady noe wad m i referring abt....u take everythings 4 granted!!! who do u tink u r? u r nth, dude!!! u juz a fucking bootlicker!!! dat's all...u dare 2 say u r not a bootlicker? o else how u survive until 2day? don try 2 act innocent in front of me....u damn jack ass!!!

U better leave me alone n don come n provoke me...o else i wont let u go and let u suffer like shit!!!

Blanked

2day woke up at 6smth...started played game until 7smth..get ready 2 meet my colleagues at 8am..so i started 2 brush up as fast as i could...b4 went out fr my house, i decided 2 get smth at living room...guess wad i saw? my owner r hugging each other tightly on da sofa...i was damn paiseh n walked bak 2 my room treat it as nth happened...i tink dey had sense dat i was around, so one of dem get up fr sofa n walk into washroom..hehe...if dey r my frenz, i surely take out my hp n snap da photo o make a video 4 dem...wakakkaka

After breakfast, went to Ponderosa 4 course..da course really is out of my expectations...it is not as fun as da 1st time i attended at Eden Hotel. Luckily David was around..so we keep bluetooth but dat oso a while coz his hp no battery....

On da course, i cant concentrate at all...my mind keep thinking of u..i tried 2 concentrate but it cant...how m i goin 2 get u out fr my mind? all my conversation v my frenz, surely ur name will be mentioned...i don 1 2 sink it deeply...i don noe wad 2 do now...totally blank...

Lame excuses

u might tink dat i m juz a small kid,dat's y simply gif me a lame excuses 2 stop my curiosity...don ustd dat y u not trust me? scare i leaked out ur secret? if i wanna say, sure got damn lots things 4 me 2say...but i choose 2 remain silent n support u in everything u do...however,in da end, i still cant gain ur trust!!! dis is wad make me upset da most...

i wanna make frenz v da real of u..n not da 1 who keep wearing mask...i tink u got 2 stop here..y u wanna wear a mask in front of me? scared of wad? n wad u gonna prevent? u wanna wear mask in front of other ppl, i don mind coz u wanna protect urself..i pour all my problems 2 u coz i trusted u n treat u as a part of my family but u....??really upset v ur behaviour today...